"Doctor Cornelius! Doctor Cornelius!"

The head librarian looked up from his ledgers and smiled. "What is it, mm, Lorelei?"

The harried young woman pulled up in front of the lectern. "It's the busts," she panted. "The statues, over in the Lost Philosophy wing? They're talking!"

Doctor Cornelius chuckled. "You never can get a philosopher to be quiet," he said. "Did they have anything interesting to say?"

Lorelei looked nonplussed. "Er. Mostly they just complained about us calling it Lost Philosophy when all the books are clearly still there."

"Sounds about right for them." The librarian clambered down from his stool and collected his walking stick. "Don't you worry, I'll go and have a chat with them, get them sorted out." He hobbled a few steps, then paused and looked back at his assistant. "But just in case they're feeling unreasonable… can you fetch me a hammer? The bigger the better."